i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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