I puked a lego.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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