did you get engaged???
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
