I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
