Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
