Tell her she can't have a vagina
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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