It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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