I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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