You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
