so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
