so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
