Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
