Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
