Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
