she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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