Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
