Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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