Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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