I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
