So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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