he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
