so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
