I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
