It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
