Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
