Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
