pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
