I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
