well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
