Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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