If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
