Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
