I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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