oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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