i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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