Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
