Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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