Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
