I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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