strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
