Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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