Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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