she was so not down for the gang bang
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
