we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
