he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
