Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
