bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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