you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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