Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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