I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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