Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
