I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
